Let me be real with you for a minute.
I’ve done some hard things in my life. Like really hard. I’ve given birth. I’ve asked for raises. I’ve spoken in front of hundreds of people. I’ve moved across the country. And I’ve survived toddler tantrums in Target. But for some reason, the moment someone casually says, “Wait… are you vegan?” my body goes into full-on freeze mode.
My heart starts pounding. My face gets warm. My brain starts playing out 14 different ways the conversation could turn awkward. And suddenly I’m like, “Uhhh… well, kind of. I mean, we mostly eat plant-based…”
Why does it feel so hard to just say it?
Why is saying “I’m vegan” scarier than asking for a raise?
Why does it feel more vulnerable than telling someone I sleep-trained my baby, or don’t do Santa, or skipped the pizza fundraiser?
If you’ve ever whispered your lifestyle into a conversation, downplayed your choices at a family gathering, or brought a second lunchbox “just in case” for your kid because you didn’t want to explain—this post is for you.
Let’s talk about what’s really going on underneath that fear… and how we start moving through it.
It’s Not Just About Food. It’s About Belonging.
Let’s be honest—when someone asks why you’re vegan, they’re rarely asking about ingredients. It’s like they’re saying, “Why are you different from me?” or “Are you judging me?” or “Are you trying to ruin Taco Tuesday?”
And suddenly you’re standing in a social minefield trying to choose the one path that won’t blow up the conversation.
Moms especially are social glue. We’re used to making things work, smoothing things over, and avoiding conflict like it’s our job (because sometimes… it is).
So when we choose something that feels like a statement—even if it’s really just a personal choice—it can trigger alllll the discomfort. Because deep down, we want to be included. We want our kids to be included. And we don’t want to give anyone a reason to pull away.
You’re Not Wrong for Wanting to Keep the Peace
I used to beat myself up for not being more confident.
“Why do I always shrink back?”
“Why can’t I just own this?”
“Am I being fake?”
But you know what? That instinct to keep things smooth? It comes from love. From wanting connection. From trying to be kind.
You are not weak for feeling that tension.
You’re human.
We’re taught from a young age not to ruffle feathers. Especially as women. Especially as moms. Especially when we already feel like we’re juggling 75 different opinions and expectations about how we should be raising our kids.
And Yet… There Comes a Moment
There comes a moment when tiptoeing around your truth feels worse than just saying it out loud.
For me, it was after a birthday party where my daughter asked why she didn’t get to have the cake everyone else had. I’d packed a cute little treat for her. I’d thought ahead. I’d done everything right. But I still felt that pang in my chest—the one that said, “Why is this still so hard?”
It wasn’t about the cake. It was about me not feeling free to just say:
“We’re vegan. This is what works for our family. And we’re proud of it.”
I realized I wasn’t modeling confidence—I was modeling fear.
And I didn’t want that to be the story anymore.
How to Start Saying It (Without the Food Fight)
If the thought of saying “I’m vegan” still ties your stomach in knots, here’s what’s helped me:
1. Start with your “why”
You don’t need to give a TED Talk. But knowing your reason helps you feel grounded. Maybe it’s for your health. Or the animals. Or the planet. Maybe it’s just because it feels right. That’s enough.
Try this:
“We made some changes to feel better in our bodies and live more aligned with our values. It’s been so good for us.”
Short. True. Done.
2. Drop the need to educate
You don’t have to justify your plate. You don’t owe anyone stats, documentaries, or a nutritional breakdown. It’s not your job to be a walking FAQ.
Try this:
“Yep, we’re vegan! It’s working great for us.”
If they want more, they’ll ask. And then you can decide whether or not you’re in the mood to share.
3. Practice saying it to safe people first
Seriously, practice. Out loud. To your best friend. To the mirror. Say it while you pack lunches. It’ll get easier.
4. Let your confidence grow with time
No one flips a switch from “awkward whisper” to “unapologetic truth-teller” overnight. It’s okay if you’re still finding your footing. Every time you say it, it gets less scary.
What You’re Really Saying Is “This Matters to Me”
At the end of the day, “I’m vegan” isn’t just a food choice. It’s a quiet act of courage. It’s you saying:
“I care. I’m trying. I’m doing something different in a world that pushes sameness.”
That’s beautiful. And strong. And worth celebrating.
So if you’ve been feeling like the only mom at the party without a slice of pepperoni pizza, or the only one who brought hummus instead of ham—just know: you’re not alone.
There are so many of us out here, quietly making bold choices and slowly raising a new generation of kids who see compassion, thoughtfulness, and confidence as normal.
You’re doing great.
💚 Want a Little More Confidence in Your Back Pocket?
I created something just for you. The Vegan Confidence Kit for Families is a free resource to help you:
- Respond to awkward questions with ease
- Find fun plant-based swaps your kids will love
- Get grounded in your “why” so you don’t feel like you have to overexplain anymore
✨Grab your free kit right here.
Let’s make this whole lifestyle feel lighter, more joyful, and totally doable—even when the world is watching.
Kristyn Medeiros 